Update

Finally got to update a bunch of works on here, brought on by finding a few pages worth of stuff in a notebook from senior year. Not all are really poetry but thought I'd share them anyway.

Imagine

I.
Imagine yourself in your finest long dress, me in a coal black tuxedo. We find ourselves alone in a forest. I take your hand and we begin our eternal dance. For we are just ghosts, our figures glowing through the branches, floating through my memory.

II.
Have we been here that long? The night has been all that we have known. But on the horizon I can see it: a glimmer of light. The day has begun. And as we continue our endless rhythmic movements I know she has seen it too. For the first time in ages I lift my head from her shoulder and search for her eyes. My soul is aflutter as her eyes approach mine. I search for a smile I have not seen in millennia, but all I see is a vacant stare. I am not prepared for what happens next. The pressure in my hand, the only thing making me complete these thousands of years, begins to fade. She lets go. So I fall. Through the earth, dragged down faster and faster, to a place of unimaginable fire. I curl myself as tightly as possible, trying to protect myself. Then I explode. The wings sprout from the anguish inside me. I glide above the huddled masses, beginning my reign over my new domain as I observe the pain and suffering below.

III.
It took but a few brief years to recover, to finally stop observing and try to join the hopeless creatures below me. It was not until then that I realized I was truly alone. Millions upon millions of bodies surrounding me, but yes, I was alone. For they could not see me. I would touch them, they would feel nothing. All I could do was search their faces, for each had a different expression, a different reason for being here. So I wandered, and time became as nothing.

IV.
No! It could not be her! Why would she be here?! But my greatest fear was realized, for truly, I had never been wandering. I had been searching. I scoured myself for the reason she would be exposed to this suffering when I finally recognized it on her face. Regret. All these years I wanted to believe it, but couldn’t. But now I could finally see it. She never wanted to let go, but she thought she was keeping me from the light. And as my tears turned to steam on the brimstone ground I knew she would never know I was there. But I had to try. So I took her hand, held her close and resumed our endless dance. Again I was not prepared for what happened next. All I felt was a slight squeeze at my hand and everything became bathed in white. Coolness, a feeling I had nearly forgotten. As things became clearer I began to see figures around me. But no, not figures, but friends and family, all beaming to finally see me. And I looked to the lovely figure in front of me. She seemed as if waking from a dream. And when her eyes met mine I was finally gifted the thing I had waited so long to see. The most beautiful, loving smile I have ever seen.

Collapse

These monuments collapse around him
He stands there trying to see through the debris
He can only see straight up
Above him the beautiful blue sky
His wings could take him so far away
To a place of beauty and peace
Then he sees their faces
They come toward him
Before they reach, he attempts to flee
But they have grabbed him
Dragged him down
He looks down in fear
But again sees their faces
Faces of sorrow
Begging him to stay
So he abandons his own hope
And covers them all under his wings

Maze

His spirit roams this maze
Carried by his physical body
It is bruised and beaten
But his spirit is strong
He has collected so many memories
So many others have passed by
Never to be seen again
Some have told him the sure way out
Others say there is no escape
After all this searching
Does he not deserve to be free?
Around a dizzying curve, something new
He finally come upon a path
No longer of dirt and stone
The soil and plant give his feet relief
The foliage becomes thicker and thicker
He cannot see beyond the pass
But he is sure that this is it
He pushes through
Fights with a strength
Not seen in many years
Bright light gleams through the brush
He finds himself above a great valley
The sight is beautiful but haunting
The plants and flowers are infinite
But so is the maze that lies before him

Epitome

Wipe the tears from your eyes
Just to make room for the new ones
Scream at the top of your lungs
Sure that no one is around to hear it
Run up the walls
Through every area around
Ice down your back
Slices into your spine
Hold your breath
Flex until you turn red
Haze covers your eyes
Pain seeps through your pores
Feel the space around you tighten
Explode
Look around at all the crimson
Pick up the pieces

Pioneer

As he travel at the tip of this ship
Faster than anyone could ever have imagined
You are the only thing he can think about
The stars blur around him
As no one could ever see before
He is the first pioneer of his kind
Traveling beyond a near infinite boundary
Even if he turns back now
You are already gone
Tens of thousands of years gone by on his old home
But a few moments for his journey
That last embrace
Is all that he holds on to
So he reaches the edge of the frontier
The white blurs around him fade
And he sees only darkness ahead
As his eyes adjust one faint light comes into view
That galaxy far away
Holding a star
That grips a planet
Which he shall soon call home
It is a relief that he can call it by a familiar name
Given the honor
What else would he call it?
So his long journey continues
Theo, in his heart
Theo, straight ahead

Forbidden

Foreboding
Hearing it in my head
Over and over
Her words have crippled me
Torn me down at my best
Taken away my future
For though it has been years
They stay with me
Fresh as these tears in my eyes
If only I were stronger
But you knew that I wasn’t
So you left me
And left me with these words
“You’ll never change”

Mmmmm…

Burdens are uncomfortable
Words, awkward and uncontrollable
So when we lay a burden down
How do we express our relief?
I believe it’s that noise you just made

September

Of what are dreams made?
Memories?
Reflections of past lives?
Connections to the other side?
Thoughts of God?
I don’t know the answer to this
I’m just glad of late
That all of mine have been of you,
September

Predisposed

WeaReprEdISPosEDAgainstfrEEWILL
ItIsOuRsTRuggLEtoFiNDiTAgAIn
OuRMinDisAseTstruCTUReofCoNNectIOns
SoWemUSTfinDoURselVEswITHinit
ItFalLsbehINDthecLoSinGofEyEs

Hope

Sensation
Fleeting
But don’t be afraid
You already belong
No one cannot be found
But do not flee
I too am afraid
But I have hope

Share

We do not yet have a perception of all others’ inner selves
So if you feel it, it is a responsibility to present one’s self as open
Because if you are willing, everyone has a right to know
That they can share in your life

One

It is clearly seen in our own earthly life, we carry on because others before us have carried on our ability to synthesize the material of living bodily life, but so too we must provide for others the ability to carry on in the spiritual life. If we die first they have the power to allow us continued existence and when they die we will usher them into a new eternity, none of this for repayment, but out of a true knowledge that we are all one.

Test

The body is not the focus we should have. It is a means to an end. While it is undoubtedly true that creating another life is one of those ends, it is not the end of which I speak. Our bodies are a means to test ourselves, to see if we can find a connection beyond its limitations. Our bodies are temples to not only our soul but the means to be truly connected to another, to see ourselves in one another, because that is where we belong. We are meaningless without another and we will simply dissolve if we do not have purpose in carrying others with us, and us in them.

Fly

Fly
Stay inside
Life is not about your body
It is just for now
So fly
Behind closed eyes
Say yes
Dry your eyes
Embrace your secrets
Your mind is not alone
But don’t be afraid
I can understand
One cell
Dies
Don’t be afraid
It is not you
Close your eyes
Find yourself
The body carries
Secret entryways
Fingers
Hair
Eyes
Hints of who we are
We search an endless database